The Everyday Spider-Guy
Spider-Guy or just Spidey is a former host for The Straight Shit Podcast and business partner of Militant Ape. As of right now Spidey has only appeared in two episodes due to being sick with a virus and will not appear in anymore. Spider-Guy is sometimes referred to as Spider-Man because some people are fucking retarded and don't know the difference. Spider-Man is a superhero while Spider-Guy is not, also Spider-Guy can't figure out how to shoot web. Unlike Ape, Spidey wears a mask because he fucking can plus it looks cool. Spidey isn't gay unlike what The Russian says because Spider-Guy has had sex with almost 10 women. 11 of which were made of straw. Ape has not and is either a virgin or gay. Coincidence? I think not! Theme Song Spider-Guy, Spider-Guy. Who the fuck is that guy? Sleeps all day, everyday. Catches z’s under his sheets. Look Out! Here comes the Spider-Guy. Is he strong? Fuck no, But he’s got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread? Maybe so but who cares? Hey, there! There goes the Spider-Guy. In the chill of night. At the scene of a crime. Like molasses in a jar. He arrives way past time. Spider-Guy, Spider-Guy. Lazy ass Spider-Guy. Wealth and fame. He’ll never obtain. Action is way too mundane. To him, life is a waste of time. Please stop wasting your time. You'll never find the Spider-Guy. YouTube Career Spider-Guy doesn't really have a YouTube career and probably never will to be honest. Most of his videos are HD remakes of videos from another YouTuber named GabrielKnight321. Instead Spidey spends most of his time watching atheist and video game related videos. Spidey also spends a lot of time reading and leaving comments in the cancerous comments section for videos. Sometimes this leads to arguments with Conservatives, conspiracy nuts, and SJWs (Social Justice Whiners). Spidey met Ape on Youtube when he used to have an Anti-Tumblr avatar. Personal Life Spidey is part of the MRA and WRA along with being a Moderate Left Wing Independent. Unlike most atheists Spidey is not liberal because the word liberal sounds dumb. Spidey however does have liberal views and beliefs though along with a few libertarian ones. Like believing everyone should be able to do whatever the fuck they want as long as they aren't hurting other people. Spidey dislikes Religious people (especially Christians), Conservatives, Corporate Democrats, Libertarians, Radical Feminists, Social Justice Whiners, and Vegans. Spidey is not part of MGTOW because that's fucking stupid and enjoys having sex with girls. Spidey however has no interest in ever getting married or having biological children of his own. Retiring from TSSP Trivia * Spider-Guy and Spider-Man are not the same. * Ape asked Spider-Guy to provide the voice for Mark Twain in an animated project called Hitler and Twain Off The Line. * Spidey has been writing fan fiction since 2006. * Spidey wishes he could try psychedelic drugs. * Spidey finds politics to be both boring and sad but keeps up with it anyways. * Spidey uses Craigslist in order to get laid needless to say this doesn't work very well due to spam bots, prostitutes, and stupid males who can't read. * Spidey still thinks Militant Ape is a retard for taking two hours to setup the first episode of TSSP. * So far The Russian is the only person to ever tell Spidey that he sounds gay probably due to projecting and being insecure about his own sexuality. Honestly nobody even gives a fuck and he should probably go back to Russia with their vodka and tanks. Take that Commie scum...MURICA!!! (Spidey actually doesn't give a fuck about the USA). * Ape for some reason named our business Skurk TV even though it's not on TV. * Spider-Guy thinks that Ape should start a 1980s styled metal band and the theme would be based on what Christians think heavy metal bands are like. So basically the Christian version of Satanists if they started a band. Our first song would be called Sacrificing Jesus from the album Gratuitous Jaywalking in Hell! * Spider-Guy's favorite phrase is gratuitous jaywalking. * Spider-Guy has a Tumblr page which he rarely touches and has told Ape that he can have it to advertise H&T on it. * He identifies as Spider-Guykin. * He's not gay. * He's fabulous! * Spider Guy actually isn't dead, he's just been playing Xbox 360. __FORCETOC__ Category:Atheists Category:Faggots Category:Protagonists Category:Hosts